Redefining Alignment
When we talk about alignment, what does it actually mean?
I think this idea is something we all talk about, but it is very, very hard to achieve because humans, as living beings, are so impatient. I say that with a smile because it's true—it’s just within our nature, especially when it comes to something we genuinely and truly want.
So, what is true alignment?
It is quite fascinating how true alignment always takes form the moment we completely and utterly give up.
Isn't that quite intriguing?
The Universal Language of Connection
Take relationships, for example. I know I use relationships as examples a lot, but that is because relationship dynamics are a universal language everyone understands. No one in the world wants to be alone forever; we all crave partnerships and connections, whether platonic or romantic.
If you look at alignment through the lens of relationships, it really comes down to a time and space where both parties are truly open. And when I say "truly open," I mean neither of them is running away from their past, and neither of them is running blindly toward the future. Instead, they have completely given up and surrendered to the present with the thought:
"Okay, I am done. What has happened has happened. I am at peace. Everything ended, and it can no longer be undone—even if no one is truly happy about how it came to be. I am truly done. I am not going to force anything to happen; if things happen, I'll just let it happen. I am done with people, I am done with trying, and I am done trying to control the outcome."
You just sit with whatever is showing up for you, and you stay with that exact moment—that emotion of just being done. Then, the moment you step outside into the world, wherever life takes you, you run into a person who just makes everything all right. It just feels right.
Surprisingly, that person happens to be single and "done," too.
Even though their version of "done" might look different from yours—perhaps they were someone who never wanted a relationship to begin with, while you wanted one but gave up right before you met them. Their version may be: "I’m just done with life. I’ve never had a vision for a relationship, and I just don't feel like trying." You happen to run into each other, their whole world changes, and they're like, "Oh my goodness! I didn't know I wanted a relationship until I met you.”
The Diagnostics of Avoidance
So, as you sit with your life today and question how alignment is showing up for you, ask yourself this: "Am I still running away from something?"
If you are moving away for college or to a new city, are you moving genuinely because you want to explore and rediscover yourself, or are you moving because you are running away?
If you are getting a new job, ask yourself this: "Am I getting a new job because I want new experiences and better pay, or am I running away from something that is bothering me but I just don't want to face it yet?"
You will know if you are running away from something because you will feel uncomfortable. There is a specific discomfort that comes with knowing you are fleeing from something but are not yet willing to admit it to yourself. And no one knows this but you, because the only person who can feel that internal itch is you.
The reality is, until you face that discomfort, you'll always be running—even if you deny it and disguise it with a million different reasons. Nothing will truly ever go your way. There will always be roadblocks, different forms of resistance, until you face what you need to face and learn what you need to learn.
So, what is it that you are running from? Other people? Your own emotions? A version of yourself? Why are you running?
What if all it takes is a simple, “Ok. This is how I'm feeling. Can I tell you, and let's figure things out from here?”
Redefining "Right Person, Wrong Time"
Perhaps, when we look back at life, what people really mean by "right person, wrong time" has nothing to do with them, the other person, the time of day, or the situation. All it really means is that they both were still running away from something, or they both were still tied to something that had yet to find its closure—preventing life from making a way for them to accept all of what was presented right in front of them, wholly. What if the meeting was just a teaser from the universe telling them, “Once you heal from the chapters of your old life, this is the life waiting for you.”
Perhaps by walking away and calling it the right person at the wrong time, all it really means—in a silent language, an unconsciously unspoken promise between their souls—is:
"Next time we meet, I'll be ready for you. I will no longer be running away from life. I will no longer be trying to force outcomes. Instead, I will be right here waiting with arms wide open for you when you're ready—so we can face the world together."
And subconsciously, they know that when they are ready, you'll be there waiting for them, just as they, too, are waiting for you—if it's all meant to be. Because, in all existence, only you belong in their arms, as they belong in yours.
Maybe true alignment is trusting that what you're waiting for is waiting for you to be ready. So, while you're at it, you just focus on becoming a greater and cooler version of yourself—for you, obviously, and hopefully one day for them, if they still choose to want you.
For me, I like to see it as "right person, different intention," until the day we finally meet at the same "right intention.”
So, for you—whether it's the right person, different intention or right opportunity, different intention—may life remind you: you are right where you belong right now. Just processing, unlearning, learning, and growing as you make your way to your right opportunity and right intention. Perhaps that's your definition of divine timing.
Soothing Thoughts from the Trenches
The Moving / New City Scenario
For those of you wondering, “How do I know if I’m truly ready for the new place?”
The truth is, a new zip code can’t cure an old ache. If you are running away, the new city will just feel like a louder version of your anxiety. But you will know you are ready for the move when you stop looking at the new city as a rescue mission, and start looking at it as a blank canvas. When you can leave your hometown without bitterness, carrying only the lessons and leaving the ghosts behind, you’ll realize the new city isn't a hiding place—it’s just where the next version of you is waiting to meet you.
The Midnight Metric: Walk away asking yourself, “What can I build here?” not, “Who or what should I hide from here?”
The Career / New Job Scenario
For those of you wondering, “How do I know if it’s the right job or just a distraction?”
Sometimes a job is just a paycheck, and sometimes it’s a temporary catalyst to teach you a skill you didn't know you needed.
But if you are staring down a massive, terrifying career opportunity that feels out of reach, you will know it’s yours when the fear turns into a quiet reverence. You will know it’s the right intention when you stop trying to prove your worth to the people you left behind, and instead focus entirely on the value you can bring to the table right now. You don't have to force the doors open; you just have to be qualified to stand in the room when they do.
The Midnight Metric: At the end of the day, ask yourself: “If I turn down this opportunity does it make me feel free and whole? Or, will I always wonder about the 'what if’?”
If you're debating if you should stay at a job, ask yourself: “Does it feel like something is missing? Can I find it here if I stay?”
The truth is, by the time we start questioning if anything is meant for us, it has already created a hole in our life that is too big to be rationalized.
The Relationship & Closure Scenario
For those of you wondering, “Is it even worth the closure?”
Yes. Not for them but for you. Sometimes we meet people in life that are simply there to teach us something. That's their only job. They're not there to build with us.
Sometimes we're born into family dynamics that are meant to prepare us with the life skills necessary for the rest of our life, but that doesn't mean that they're meant to last us. No one outlasts anyone. Sometimes we're meant to teach our family or those that cross our path something.
You can love someone through the distance by allowing them to just be themselves. You can put all of your cards on the table and say all you want without them having to do anything about it, unless they want to. You do it for you, not for them. You do it because you need to release yourself from carrying the unspoken.
The Midnight Metric: If you're sitting here questioning, “but is it even worth it, if they don't hear it?" let me ask you this: If today is your last day on Earth, what do you regret not saying to them?
The Right Person, Different Intention Scenario
For those of you wondering, “How do I know to wait?”
The truth is you don't. You move on with your life, you go where life takes you, maybe along the way you meet someone new—someone that makes you feel alive in ways that you have never experienced before, and completely makes you forget about anything that comes before or after. Sometimes people are just catalysts for our growth, they're not meant to stay, and we are for theirs.
But, if you truly, truly, truly ever run into that right person and different intention individual, you will know if they're the one because you carry a piece of them with you to the end of the world and back—through the distance and silence. You just simply can't bring yourself to hate them. The longer you're apart the deeper the feeling.
Without ever getting back together, the “what if” question will be the only ghost that haunts you both down everywhere you go.
And, when you guys are finally together again, the only way to truly know if they're the one is: you wouldn't mind falling for them again and they wouldn't mind falling for you too. Because that's what true unconditional love is.
You don't know how much you love someone unless you fall in love with their every version, every single time, and all you want to do is just be around every flaw-filled version—because each fall gets more and more pricelessly beautiful and worthwhile. Everything that is them is imperfectly perfect.
Conclusion
At the end of time and space—in the stillness of the void, in the lingering thoughts at 2am in the morning—you can regret what you have done while it can't be undone, all you want, but what do you regret not doing?
