The Paradox of Unconditional Love

It’s paradoxical how, as babies, we're treated like we're the center of the universe—smiles, cries, milestones met with unconditional love. The world revolves around us. Yet, as we grow and seek independence, that attitude shifts. Suddenly, we're seen as demanding, burdensome, or no longer deserving of the same love and patience.

Growing up, I was conditioned to believe I couldn’t rely on anyone—not even my parents. Independence became a survival skill, my shield against disappointment and vulnerability. I remember my cousin once telling me, "I'm scared for your future partner. You're too independent. I worry he'll get lonely." At that time, I’d already made up my mind to be alone for the rest of my life. Not because I think I didn't deserve it but because I viewed it as “not a possibility for me” in this lifetime. However, like always, the universe had other plans when it initially allowed my partner and I to cross paths briefly in 2019.

When my health declined sharply in 2022, I had no choice but to depend on my family, often being met with labels like lazy or superior. This dependency was jarring. I spent years working to restore my health, navigating severe physical limitations (anemia, asthma, wrist weakness) that prevented the high-energy activities I once relied on. The decline stripped me of my physical independence, forcing me to confront my emotional resistance to relying on others.

Through six years of deep healing work on past wounds, I’ve realized that while independence is vital, it can also be an obstacle—not just for personal well-being but in building genuine relationships. I understand now why the universe "forced" me into situations where I had to ask for help without guilt or shame. These experiences prepared me for a partnership rooted in surrender, trust, and unconditional giving.

Letting go of control was scary and confusing, but I embraced the process. It brought me more than I could have ever imagined—partnerships I never envisioned, built on respect, patience, kindness, and love without expectations.

My surrender didn’t come easily; it took six years of exposing myself to past (unhealthy) and present (healthy) relationship archetypes, grounding in my boundaries, and rejecting anything misaligned with my truth. It was only after this process that I was finally open to receiving the love of my partner, who exceeds anything I could have asked for.

The question remains: Why didn’t I surrender earlier? Why didn’t I allow myself to receive his love sooner?

But the truth is: We both weren’t ready. I wasn't ready to fully receive his love—I didn't have a space for him in my life. As for him, he wasn’t prepared for my sovereignty. We had to learn to be healthy individuals before building a healthy partnership. Timing, as always, is everything.

I’ve learned that true connection isn’t just about love or independence versus dependence; it’s about respect, understanding, communication, transparency, vulnerability, trust, and the courage to surrender—choosing each other in every moment, despite the circumstances.

Before my partner, I was the “Never going to get married” type of girl. After meeting him and the six years of deep healing, that girl is now the “Let's see where life takes us” type of girl. Not because I need him in my life but because I want him in my life, knowing fully that with or without him I'm right where I need to be.

To those resisting relationships or the idea of surrender:

• If you're in a toxic situation, it's okay to restart from where you both are or to close that chapter altogether. At times the resistance of the present moment probably just means it's not supposed to work out now but that doesn't mean it won't later. Sometimes, however, we're only meant to help prepare each other for where we're supposed to go individually.

• If you’ve given up on truly experiencing love, take a moment to observe, learn, and choose wisely. Allow yourself to be loved—just once. That experience can set you free or break you open. With hope and guidance, may it lead you to a life filled with magic and fulfillment.

Everything happens for a reason. The universe intentionally puts us into situations for our sake. We just have to trust that we are strong enough to go through it and that we'll be okay at the end.

Every feeling tells you something. It's not meant to hurt you but to teach and lead you towards alignment.

And as my partner reminded me when I hesitated, "No one is truly ready for anything. You won't know until you try." “Let me show you.”

NOTE: I left a song hidden in this blog just for you to help you navigate your emotions. Enjoy!