My Core Truth: Redefining Partnership
For years, I had to unlearn that the chaos, the emotional whiplash, and the deep, persistent feeling of not being "enough" were just my lot in life. The most grueling part of healing wasn't recognizing the wounds inflicted by others; it was recognizing the toxic patterns I had internalized, especially about what partnership was supposed to look like.
Growing up, I witnessed the messy side of partnership—the fights that tore through nights, drunken arguments, yelling, judgment, and control. I saw the toxic dynamic of viewing each other as competition or burdens. I watched how people could hurt their partner just to test how much they could endure and if they would leave.
That experience made commitment feel impossible. I just didn’t know how I could commit to one person for the rest of my life, especially when people outgrow things all the time.
But through self-reflection and hard boundaries, I unearthed a single, unchanging principle: Love isn’t about having it all or perfection. It’s about patience, growth, and choosing to see the beauty in every connection.
A partnership built on this truth looks radically different from the chaos I once knew:
It’s about mutual growth, not testing. If you no longer see a future with someone, isn’t it better to admit that you’ve outgrown each other and let them go? Until then, isn't a partnership about growing and building together—especially through disagreements and hardships?
It’s about respect, not regret. If you adore everything about your partner—that’s why you’re with them in the first place—how can you regret getting together? If you don't want to let your kids be around certain people, why would you allow yourself to be constantly surrounded by those people?
A healthy relationship is a sanctuary, not a battleground. How can you stand to watch the person you claim to love drown in suffering, sadness, or pain, or be accepting of being the reason they were forced to feel that way just so you feel better about yourself?
I can’t imagine saying those things to myself, let alone my fur babies and my partner.
Love, I believe, is a profound gift. It’s about choosing to want someone in your life—even when you’re tired, when you long for solitude, or when life gets complicated. It’s a great honor to have someone to love—even when they bother you, exhaust you, or disagree with you.
Love creates memories, teaches patience, and makes us better. It is unconditional and non-transactional. It’s about caring despite the hardships, about giving even when tired, and about finding joy in the simple act of being present.
When I look at my partner, I see a beautiful soul who deserves curiosity, freedom, and love. He reminds me daily of what unconditional love truly looks like.
This unwavering bond shows me that love's true gift isn't certainty, but the continuous opportunity to grow, to learn, and to build something meaningful.
As for whether I can be a good partner, I don't know because every relationship is different—only time can tell, but so far even through the distance, we have a pretty strong partnership. It does seem like I definitely can commit to one person. I always have (IYKYK).
Love isn’t perfect; it’s imperfect in the most beautiful ways. And no matter where life takes me, I trust that as long as I keep loving with an open heart, I’ll find my way—just as I’ve found my way with my fur babies and my partner (even through the distance).
