The Opportunities in 'No'
When you hear ‘No,’ what comes to mind?
How does it make you feel?
For many, ‘No’ is a word they fear because, connected to past trauma, it means rejection or ‘the end.’ For others, saying ‘No’ is extremely difficult because they learned their entire life that their ‘Yes’ was the only way to receive reciprocity and value from others.
Until we start healing, we fail to realize that ‘No’ is a powerful word. It’s a guiding word that helps us set boundaries, figure out who wer are, and stand up for ourselves.
Hearing ‘No’: Rejection as Redirections
When we receive ‘No’ as an answer, we don’t have to allow it to shut us down. It doesn’t have to mean ‘concluded,’ ‘the end,’ or ‘this is it.’
Instead, we can view it as a creative opportunity:
It can simply mean: “Not this way, not this opportunity, or not this person.”
It doesn’t mean sit tight and be quiet; it provides a chance to explore a new direction.
When one door closes because of a ‘No,’ it isn’t the end. It’s the moment the door of ‘Yes’ that conspires in your favor opens. The door to betterness opens.
Saying ‘No’: The Power of the Boundary
When you choose to use the word ‘No,’ you hold the power to choose where you invest your time and energy based on how you view your own worth.
When you say ‘No,’ you affirm two things simultaneously:
Setting the Standard for Others
You are letting others know that abuse is NOT okay.
You are reminding others that using people for personal gain is NOT okay.
You are reminding others of the simple things that truly matter.
You are showing others that there are more than one ways to deal with circumstances besides chaos.
Self Affirmation
To Abuse: You are standing up for yourself.
To Manipulation: You are reminding yourself that your individuality holds value.
To Unhealthy Things: You are reminding yourself that you deserve better.
To Wrong Situations: You are trusting your own capabilities and wisdom.
Saying ‘No’ doesn’t require you to have your entire life or your next step figured out. It simply means you are willing to go where you feel guided from here on out. It means you are ready to take risks where it feels right for because you love and trust yourself enough to give yourself a try.
In your book of life today, how are you allowing the ‘No’ in your life to guide you? Where are you headed?
